So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
