One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
