Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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