Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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