dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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