RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
