I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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