We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
