Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
did you just send me my own nude
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
