any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
