we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
