By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
They took my balls.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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