Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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