zippers are such a cool invention
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
