If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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