I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
