i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Sorry about my life...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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