You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
