So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can u get pink eye on your cock?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize