Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
