Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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