Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
is it fun? or sober?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
