so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
