Can Purell be used as lube?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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