Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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