I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
