my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
