if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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