I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
