you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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