"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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