just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
