is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
