Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
