the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize