I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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