Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
