so that wasnt chicken after all
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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