walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You dont lie about slip and slides
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
