Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
