Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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