I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
