I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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