It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
