So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
