Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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