haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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