I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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