funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
