He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
