I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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