Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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