I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My ATM looks so different sober.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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