I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
