I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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