obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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