he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
