you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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