Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
